The Swamp

You call out to the others again. “You don’t want to kill me! This is a mistake!” They maintain silence. The ropes that bind you do not slacken as they pull you closer and closer to the swamp. “Guys! This isn’t funny! Stop!” you shout one last time. The fog parts, and you find yourself standing for a moment at the edge of the bank. You can smell the algae and slime that coats the water. You feel yourself being watched, as though by thousands of eyes. And then you see it – something trailing through the water. A kick sends you into the bog. A thousand eyes widen, then narrow. Something grabs your ankles, and you are pulled into the murky depths.

Nihilism Corner

I know the specter of death can be terrifying. Belief in an afterlife, while solace for some, ultimately relies on the believer’s particular faith being true. You could double down on the Judeo-Christian version of things, but if the ancient Egyptians were right and you haven’t been memorizing all the passphrases in the Book of the Dead, you’re going to be eaten by the demon Ammit. But isn’t it ultimately comforting to know that your struggle to delude yourself with invented meaning in a meaningless existence is finally at an end?

This has been Nihilism Corner.

Statues

The sculpture garden here is creepy A.F. Isn’t regular statuary creepy enough with its blank, pupil-less eyes? Why did the sculptor for this place feel the need to carve half the statues with expressions of horror, and the other half with weird tentacles and eye stalks and bat wings? You had just finished looking at what looks like a statue of the Virgin Mary but with no eyes at all, and had moved on to a statue of a boy with waaay more teeth than seems normal, when from the corner of your eye you see something move. You turn, and nothing is there, just endless statues. You move on, and while admiring a young woman preserved mid-scream, you hear a skittering. You wheel around, but once more it’s just statue after statue. The last thing you see is a statue of a woman covered by crawling insects. The attack comes from behind. It is swift, silent, and somehow cold.

Whatsitsname

I have such a hard time telling apart the various Lovecraftian elder gods. Which one is the planet-sized mass of entrails? Shabbith-Ka? Lu-Kthu? Yog-Sothoth? Anyway, whichever one it is, that’s the one that’s devouring you right now.

Krumbles II

You’re a bit peckish. You go downstairs for a snack. You pour yourself a bowl of your favorite cereal, Kellogg’s Shredded Krumbles (an actual cereal from the ’20s. That’s “Krumbles,” with a “K”). And something about it just tastes off. You’re checking the expiration date on the milk when the poison takes effect and you crumple to the ground. That’s “crumple,” with a “C.”

Long Knives

In Nazi Germany, Adolph Hitler consolidated his power in a series of executions that party insiders called “Operation Hummingbird,” but is better known as “The Night of the Long Knives.” Your Night of the Long Knives is much more literal, as you are stabbed to death by lots and lots of ceremonial daggers.

Fun Facts

Did you know that snakes don’t have eyelids? And did you know that they smell with their tongues? Did you know that “charmed” snakes respond to the movement of the musical instrument, not its sound? Oh, yeah, by the way, a bunch of cultists pushed you into a pit full of poisonous snakes.