Cry Yourself a River
17 Dec 2021Today’s prompt: “A time someone made you cry”
That time a cultist kidnapped you, tied you to a chair, shot you in the gut, and then played the opening scene to Up on a loop while you bled out.
Today’s prompt: “A time someone made you cry”
That time a cultist kidnapped you, tied you to a chair, shot you in the gut, and then played the opening scene to Up on a loop while you bled out.
Today’s prompt: “A time you made someone cry”
Well, there was that time you got your blood and viscera all over that guy’s 1951 Mickey Mantle baseball card. But that’s kind of on him. You don’t invite someone over and then kill them next to your collectibles.
Today’s prompt: “Leaving home”
Ah, the thrill of the open road! The freedom to go wherever you choose! The wind in your hair! A bindle on your back! Fatally misjudging the speed of a train as you attempt to jump on board and tumble into a ravine!
Today’s prompt: “Staying as close as possible to the tactile, be your character having a skin allergy.”
When the tree branch with the wasp nest fell near you, you panicked. Maybe if you hadn’t frozen. Maybe if you’d run immediately. Maybe, maybe … of what worth is a maybe? You ran, but too late.
A flush of red hives furrows your skin like tiny volcanic molehills, like fiery ants crawling under your skin. Itch and Burn are coupling like rabbits, fucking like there’s no tomorrow and sending litters of miserable bastard children coursing through your body in a high tide of pain. You frantically search your arms and legs for stingers, brushing gently against the firm red blisters, but it’s no good. It’s too late. Your body is on fire. Your entire being swells.
And you don’t have an EpiPen. You used your last one when that bee stung you in July. You didn’t replace it right away. EpiPens are expensive. You can buy a lot of groceries for what it takes to buy an EpiPen. If you go to the right neighborhood mechanic, you can get your old beater fixed up for what it takes to buy an EpiPen. Your family needs that money. You took a risk.
The ambulance doesn’t arrive fast enough. With your dying breath, you curse Heather Bresch.
Today’s prompt: “Write a letter from a forty-five-year-old Lolita to an elderly Humbert Humbert about the way he destroyed her childhood.” (I will be playing with the format on this one. Also, seriously, all the trigger warnings on this one. This one might be worth skipping.)
“Welcome back to KQQQ, and just before the break, we were talking with Dolores ‘Lolita’ Schiller. When Lolita was just a child, a man who rented a room from her mother abducted and repeatedly raped her immediately following the death of her mother. Lolita, if Humbert Humbert is listening to this, is there anything you’d want to say to him?”
“I just wish he would understand how his actions completely ruined my life. I was never able to grow up like a normal girl. I still have flashbacks to the degrading things he would make me do. I didn’t get to have childhood friends because he took me on the run with him, and then when we finally got to a place where we stayed for a while he controlled who I could see and talk to. When I finally got married and tried to have a normal life, sex was always fraught for me, and when I got pregnant, I was constantly worried. What if it’s a girl? What if something happens to her like what happened to me? I feel really lucky that I found my husband. For a while, I felt like Humbert Humbert had put some kind of mark on me. I swear, people like him can smell psychosexual damage on you, and it makes it hard to escape from people like them. When I finally figured out how to run away from Humbert Humbert, the man I ran off with turned out to be a child pornographer. I came so close to saying yes to being in his films. So close. Sometimes I thought, maybe this is all I’m good for.”
“That’s horrible, just horrible, Lolita, and we have absolutely got to stop Hillary Clinton and her Democrat pedophiles–”
“Wait, what–”
”–and give them the justice they so richly deserve.”
“This doesn’t have anything to do with–”
“Looks like we have a caller on line 1, go ahead caller.”
“Hi Mike, this is Bob, love your show, first time long time! Hey, I did a web search on this Humbert Humbert guy and I think he looks like this guy I’ve seen going into the basement of this pizza place, I think it’s called Asteroid Pinball. I saw him in there last week. I think he goes there a lot. I think there’s a child sex trafficking ring down there.”
“Oh no, not another Pizzagate–”
“Wow, Bob, fantastic tip! Lolita, maybe someone can catch Humbert Humbert at this Asteroid Pinball place before he does anything else to any other little kids!”
“Look, I don’t like this. You asked me to come on here and tell my story, and I did, because I hoped maybe I’d feel better afterwards. What happened to me, I truly suffered. I have nightmares to this day. I wish no child had to experience anything like it. But you’re treating me like this pawn for you to take cheap political shots at people who aren’t actually pedophiles, and siccing your fans on innocent people. I know Humbert Humbert wasn’t at that pizza place last week because he’s–”
“Looks like we’ve got another caller! Go ahead, caller.”
“Hi Mike! This is Jim! I’m locked and loaded and headed to Asteroid Pinball! Whooo!”
“Great work, Jim, sometimes we need second amendment remedies for things like this. Sometimes you need a good guy with a gun.”
“As I was saying, I know Humbert Humbert isn’t at that pizza parlor because he’s in prison right now! He’s serving time for a murder conviction for shooting the guy who wanted me to be in his porn films. If that guy goes into that pizza place with a gun, he could hurt innocent people!”
“Look, Lolita, you have to stop blaming yourself and siding with your abusers. No one who would do that to a child is innocent.”
“That’s not what I–”
“Listeners, we have breaking news. Shots were fired inside the Asteroid Pinball. Two employees were struck, and one of them was pronounced dead. No word yet on whether they were pedophiles, but it appears right now that they were just making pizza. Also, apparently the Asteroid Pinball does not have a basement.”
Today’s prompt: “Your face is on the evening news. Write a short news story to explain why.”
“…And in News of the Weird today, local resident [insert your name here] fell into the ostrich pen at the zoo today and was promptly kicked to death. The zoo was temporarily closed while police and zoo staff took care of the body and the ostrich pen was taped off. Zookeepers are warning attendees that they should not get too close to the animal enclosures, especially the open-air ones that aren’t surrounded by glass. Our station has obtained footage of the actual death, but we’ve deemed it a little too gruesome for us to air here. But you can see here where the ostrich pen has been marked off by police tape. The zoo provided us with the ostrich footage you’re seeing now; it was taken sometime last summer. Back to you, Michelle.”
“Boy, Dave, some of those baby ostriches are awful cute. I can see why someone would want to get up close and personal, but that might not be a good idea.”
“Yeah, don’t be fooled by those big birds’ appearance! Everyone, enjoy the zoo but stay safe.”
Today’s prompt: “What’s the most expensive thing you own? What was it like to buy it?”
It’s probably my house. For most people it’s going to be a house or possibly a college education if they’re still renting, or maybe a car or something like that if they’re renting and didn’t go to college. I suppose you could quibble about the concept of ownership, either from the angle of a society built on debt or a society built on stolen land. Either way, let’s move on, because my feelings when buying my house were not really that interesting.
Not compared to the mingled rage and pleasure, combined with a paranoid scratching at the brain that frequently accompanies being in the presence of a hitman, that Jonah MacRae felt when he spent the most money he’s ever spent on anything as he took out a contract on your life. Do you remember what you did to Jonah? Because he sure does.