Medicine Cabinet

Today’s prompt: “Open your medicine cabinet. Catalog every pill, ointment, and product. What conditions do they treat and how does the whole lot add up to a statement about your mortality?”

Let’s see, let’s see… Band-aids, calcium supplements, folic acid, my antiseizure drugs … maybe this tube of IcyHot? No? I’m sorry, I just don’t have anything that’s going to fix your spontaneous human combustion.