Skywalker

Today’s prompt: “You are Luke Skywalker. Write three different opening paragraphs for your autobiography, trying out very different styles.”

The Force has always been strong with me. What’s the Force, you ask? Mass times acceleration, bitches.

It all began when my Uncle Owen sent me out to buy a couple droids to help out on the moisture farm. I was repairing one of the droids, R2-D2, when it began displaying part of a recorded holographic message from a woman I would later find out was my sister. “Help me, Obi-wan Kenobi,” she said, “you’re my only hope.” Contrary to scurrilous rumors, I did not say, “She’s beautiful,” as I could sense the familial ties even then. Those of us who are strong in the Force are sensitive to things like that. I definitely didn’t say that, and I definitely didn’t kiss her, and anyone who says differently is lying. But her message did change my life. I set off with the droids to talk to Old Ben Kenobi, and that sent me down the path to adventure. One day I was drinking blue milk with Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru, and the next I was rescuing princesses, destroying the Death Star, and working my way up to becoming a full-blown Jedi knight.

My story begins in tragedy, in loss, in mourning. Early one morning I left my family’s moisture farm to talk to a nearby hermit, Old Ben Kenobi, about a mysterious message found on a droid we had recently purchased. To this day, I still think back on my last hours with my family and friends before I left. My last glass of blue milk with Aunt Beru. My last conversation with Uncle Owen, when he told me to forget about Old Ben, the Imperial Academy, and the strange message on the droid, before bringing up my father, and then quickly telling me to forget him as well. My last time shooting Womp rats in Beggar’s Canyon with my childhood friend [insert your Star Wars name here], who, unbeknownst to me, had stopped by my aunt and uncle’s house for lunch while I was gone, right before Imperial stormtroopers slaughtered all three of them and set fire to the family farm.