Dear Reader II: Doom, Romance, and Doomed Romance
11 Oct 2021Today’s prompt: “The last chapter of the relationship”
Foreword
Dear reader,
I’m really sorry that not only will you be unable to finish my fantasy mystery novel, you’ll also be unable to finish this romance novel I wrote that you decided to pick up instead after you got depressed reading the foreword to that book. Look, it really doesn’t matter what book you read, even if it’s not one of mine. You’re still only going to get about 40 pages max in before you keel over. So I’m afraid that while you should just have time to get to the meet-cute in the darkened alley next to the Korean bulgogi place, you’re not going to make it to the last chapter of the relationship. And after the dismal sales numbers for my fantasy mystery novel, I’m not going to spoil the end for you. Last time, too many potential buyers read the ending on this blog and decided not to buy the book because it had already been spoiled for them. I’m not going to make that mistake again. So I’m sorry, you’re never going to know how this story ends.
Page 341 Again
The graveyard chill nipped at her calves and nearly froze the tearstreaks on her cheeks. “I’ll never forget you, Dawson,” she said as she placed a single long-stemmed rose on the coffin, a handsome mahogany number not unlike the model you will be buried in, dear reader.
But which is the real page 341, and which is just an illusion? Maybe this is a Schrödinger’s cat kind of thing, and the act of observing the ending without having actually read the book is changing it. You know what, the last ending was a lot nicer than this one. Maybe you should try turning back to that one.
Page 341
The splayed fingers of Dawson’s hand pressed into the small of Morgan’s back. Warm breath tickled her neck as the two figures slowly swayed. They danced long into the night, on the hardwood floor of their apartment, not, to be very clear, on a grave, and certainly not on your grave, dear reader.
Did you really think you could just skip to the end and thwart my narrative will? And are you even sure this is the last page? Sometimes pages tend to stick together. Maybe this isn’t the last one after all.
Also Page 341
“I left your stuff there,” Dawson said, standing in the doorway and pointing to a box on the porch.
“Can I just come in for a minute?” Morgan said. “I just want to explain.”
“It’s too late for that. I don’t even want to think about what you did, and I really don’t want to hear you talk about why you did it.”
“Dawson, I’m so sorry.”
“There’s no coming back from that. Not from what you did.” And Dawson closed the door on Morgan, closed the door on their life together, a lot like closing the lid on your mahogany coffin, dear reader.
I’m sorry you’re dying, dear reader, and I’m sorry you’re never going to be able to read this book properly. Not as sorry as Morgan is for mucking things up with Dawson. It’s not every day you meet the love of your life in the alley by a bulgogi place.