Valedictorian

Today’s prompt: “You are the high-school valedictorian. Write your valedictory address.”

“Members of the class of 2021,” you say, “it is with great honor and privilege that I congratulate you on our graduation.

“We made it! We’ve survived so much – so much more than we should have to. Even before COVID, we survived years of disinvestment at this very school. Other students at other schools, the worst they can say is they survived a year of Zoom classes. We did that, but before that, we survived leaks in the hallways, roaches in the classrooms, poorly ventilated science labs, and a cafeteria that failed a health inspection. I’m honestly surprised that the combination of the thunderstorm outside and the shoddy wiring in this gymnasium hasn’t electrocuted us a–“ZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAPPPPP.