Jingle

Today’s prompt: “Write the lyrics of a catchy jingle – for a plumbing service.”

“If there’s an Old One in your tub, call Root! Root! Roto-Rooter!
If your pipes are an interplanar cultist hub, call Root! Root! Roto-Rooter!
If tentacles are snaking up your drain
Or Yog-Sothoth is clogging up your water main
Call Root! Root! Root! Roto-Rooter!”

You stare in horror as Shub-Niggurath’s young ceaselessly burst from your mangled kitchen sink, the Muzak from Roto-Rooter’s phone system unable to drown out their screeches.