Psych

Today’s prompt: “What is your shrink really thinking when you tell him about your day, your life, your hopes, your fears?”

Jesus Christ, they’ve just started recounting the fourth plot against their life today, your therapist thinks. First someone unleashes their vicious dogs on them during their morning walk. Then it’s an assassin with poisoned blow darts at the next table at Starbucks. Then some unseen hand shoves them down the stairwell at work. Then someone tries to run them off the road on their way here. It’s one thing to feel paranoid, and another still to suffer these kinds of delusions, but get. Over. Yourself. You’re just not important enough for the universe to want dead.

Your therapist will recall these thoughts with horror when the car bomb attached to your Toyota Tercel blows up as you get in the car at the end of your session.