Dear Die-ary
05 Jul 2020Today’s prompt: “You’d just die if anyone ever saw this diary entry.”
“Dear Diary,” your handwriting loops across the page.
“Today I achieved nigh invulnerability! I drank a potion made of ground narwhal horn, the blood of an ocelot, and sorghum. Then I went on a vision quest for three days, fasting on a trek through the mountains. At the end of my journey, I sat cross-legged in a meadow. Jackals loped around me, vultures circled above me, and mushrooms sprouted up around me. I was dizzy with hunger, but still I sat, my eyelids heavy. As I blinked, I saw one of the vultures alight before me. A jackal broke out from the pack and strode toward me. And one of the mushrooms began growing at an alarming rate. Jackal, vulture and mushroom stood beside each other, and each took the form of a woman, and they said my name.
“‘No man or woman above age 10 can kill you,’ they prophecied in unison, ‘nor any child too young to grow a beard. You will not die by old age or disease. No water will drown you, no fire will burn you. No weapon forged by human hand can kill you. No wound can be inflicted on your skin.’
“So that’s pretty cool, huh Diary? Boy, I hope no one ever reads this and figures out how to turn this prophecy into my greatest weakness or something. Later!”
Your archnemesis closes your diary. He runs the dull edge of his bone knife across the lower edge of his beard, and makes plans to jam the blade into your eye before his next birthday on Leap Day.