Last Will and Testament
16 Apr 2020Today’s prompt: “Write your will, explaining who gets what and your changes of mind over the years about it.”
I, [insert your name here], being of sound mind and body, hereby declare this to be my last will and testament.
I hereby bequeath my Chevy Nova to NPR, since those Car Talk guys were pretty funny, and since my brother, who I was originally going to give it to, joined one of those death cults – I think it was the Brotherhood of the Beast – and ever since then at family gatherings he’s been looking at me like a pork chop on a stick at the state fair.
My house is to be sold and the proceeds are to be donated to Wounded Warriors. It was originally going to go to my fiancé Sam (or is it fiancée? I can never remember which one’s which), but I broke off the engagement when I found out they’re a member of the Chesuncook Witch Coven, and I didn’t particularly feel like ending up in a pit of hungry shoggoths.
Everything else can just go to Goodwill. I was going to give the china and furniture to my sister, the entertainment center to my nephew, and my comics collection to my niece, but since they joined the Chorazos Cult, those murderous Yog-Sothoth worshippers ain’t gettin’ nothing.