If You're Judging a Book by Its Cover, That Book Looks Like Meh
10 Apr 2020Today’s prompt: “Your grandmother gave you a book that you refuse to read. What’s the book? Write a thank-you note to your grandmother, pretending that you read it.”
“Dear Grandma,” you write,
“Thank you for sending me volume 1 of Young Spellcasters: Protection Spells Against Occult Forces. That spell on page 18 for ‘Warding Against Baba Yaga’ sounds particularly useful. You never know when a house with chicken legs might come your way,” you type, rolling your eyes all the while.
“I’ll bet the conjuration on page 55 for turning a pumpkin into a getaway vehicle could be equally useful,” you write. “You never know when you’re going to have to drive away from a chicken-legged house at a moment’s notice.
“And the spell on page 63, ‘Defeathering the Flock,’” you write. “I’m sure that’ll be extremely valuable when part bird, part domicile things start showing up outside my house.”
You hit “print,” watch the printer spit out a page, and sign your name along the bottom of the letter. You fold it up and tuck it into an envelope. You neatly print your grandmother’s address on the envelope and affix a stamp. You take the envelope outside and stare at massive chicken legs jutting out from the bottom of the house standing next to your mailbox. Chicken legs large enough to crush you to death.