TMI, Mom

Today’s prompt: “Five things you wish your mother had never told you”

1. “So. Um. Probably should have told you this before, but I’m actually the head of an international crime syndicate?”

2. “And the guys who’ve been tailing us for the last several blocks are from a rival syndicate.”

3. “And it looks like they have uzis.”

4. “Hell of a day for the armored car to be in the shop.”

5. “Can’t you make this thing go any faster? God, your grandma drives faster than you.”