German Crossbow Victims Were Part of Medieval Sex Cult
25 Jul 2019Today’s prompt: “Google search your own name. Write about the search result that is the closest to your name but isn’t you.”
Well, I wasn’t real sure of your name spelling, so I just googled “latest victim of cult murder.” And of the top four results, the ones I could see without scrolling down, two of them were about the Manson Family and one was about Jonestown. I guess it’s what you’d expect. It seems word about the slaughter you were caught up in hasn’t made it out into the broader world yet.
But that fourth result? It’s a Daily Beast article headlined “German Crossbow Victims Were Part of Medieval Sex Cult.” Man, talk about your clickbait.
Click.
Okay, so I’m honestly a bit disappointed that this sex cult didn’t actually take place in the Middle Ages. The murders in question, apparently a murder-suicide kind of thing, took place in May this year. Sounds like there was some group BDSM stuff involving a guy who owned a shop that sold replicas of medieval weapons and offered reenactment events and jousting classes. Probably other goods as well; the store is described in the article as a “medieval fetish shop,” and the lede has a lurid description of a mannequin in the window covered with chains and fake blood. According to the second paragraph, the guy also used to have a dog that bit other dogs to death, which, ugh. Police think he told the apparent assailant to kill him and the other victim and then herself, with a crossbow.
Anyway. Your death involved a lot less sex, but about the same number of crossbow bolts.