All the Tropes

Today’s prompt: “Finish the sentence that begins ‘What I’ve always wanted to say is….’”

At last, you’ve got the hero chained up and right where you want him!

“What I’ve always wanted to say is, you’re nothing without your Sword of Magisteria, which I have melted down into slag, and your trusty pegasus, which I have already carved up into delicious pegasus steaks for my pet tigers. Did you actually believe you stood a chance against my army of orcs? Did you really think you could make your way through the Dark Forest of Etrich and into the city gates undetected? Hahahahahahahahaha! As soon as I’m done killing you, I’m going to ravish the Princess Aurelia and then put into place my master plan to conquer the outer realms with the just-completed mind-control device in my inner sanctum down the hall. And now, prepare to–”

But before you can utter the word “die” and frog-march your hapless captive at laser-gunpoint into the deep pool where you keep your giant angry electro-sharks, his cavalry of unlikely companions swoops in, shooting the laser gun out of your hand and throwing you off balance. You topple into the pool you just opened in the floor a minute ago and are instantaneously shocked and devoured.