Boxers or Briefs

Today’s prompt: “Boxers or briefs? Discuss.”

You know that whole thing about mothers telling their children to make sure they wear clean underwear because you never know when you’re going to get hit by a bus? Clearly, they didn’t know squat about the physiological processes that occur when you die. Without getting too graphic, when you die, as is about to happen, all of your muscles relax, including your sphincter. So if you’ve got a lot of stuff in your bowels, a little bit of poop might come out. Boxers? Briefs? Nobody cares. If you want my advice, make sure to go to the bathroom regularly, consume a reasonable amount of fiber, and gravitate toward underwear in dark colors. It’s all a little late for that now, given that you’re chained to a stone altar and the scythe is coming down, but, you know, for next time, if that’s how these things work.